Tuesday, August 05, 2014

Introverted Introspection

I recently read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain.  It was awesome.  This isn't going to be a book review, though - I have a hard time writing those.  Which may be a sign that I should practice, or a sign that I should just not worry about it.  There are plenty of people happy to write book reviews out there, and who read much faster and more prodigiously than I.

I grew up in a pretty quiet household.  I may have been the noisy one.  However, it was also pretty normal for me to spend many hours in my room reading and studying, or writing and listening to music, or playing by myself.  I seem to remember being alone a lot, by choice, yet rarely being lonely.  Listening to Quiet made me realize how lucky I am that my family is all introverted - it surprised me how many parents of kids like me felt like there was something wrong with their kids.  I always felt like my reading habits were fully supported (and shared!) by my parents, my studiousness was a good thing, my short and stable friends list meant that my parents were friends with my friends parents.  I could not believe that there are parents out there - more than one, there were several "case studies" - who would bring their studious and calm children to the doctor to find out what is wrong with them.  I heard a mother recently describe her smart adult daughter (double majoring!!) with dismay, she can't believe her own child is a nerd.  I wanted to defend this girl I don't know, who loves math and reading and is curious about the world around her.  But I wasn't interested in speaking up...demonstrating my introversion yet again.  Aha.  At any rate, the ways in which I have been judged had remained largely invisible to me until I read Quiet, which is a mercy.  I was never the cool kid, but it never seemed all that cool to me to be the cool kids anyhow - too much work - so lucky me that I was sheltered from the extroversion.  Now, apparently, I am so good at pretending to be extroverted that I have half my friends and acquaintances fooled.  But then again, anyone who has waited months for me to reply to an email or return a phone call might already know the truth....


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